Mr. Curmudgeon: Restaurant Peeve Nos. 3 & 4

* Saw this on a menu recently, in the appetizer list: "Toasted bread topped with bruschetta."

No, people, bruschetta isn't the topping, tomato/basil (though that has become the cliche) or not; bruschetta is the whole thing, the piece of grilled -- not toasted -- bread, preferably smeared with olive oil and garlic, mounted by any number of toppings, tomat…