Just So I Don't Look Like a Complete Jerk ...

... I won't name the winery whose back-label I'm about to quote here and, frankly, hold up to ridicule. The wine is a merlot that costs $35 a bottle.

We have selected this classic Bordeaux varietal from vineyards nestled on the gentle slopes of Sonoma Valley to produce an exquisite wine that rivals the very best Pommerol chateaus.

This brief screed offend…