Can I Get a Goldfish?

Man walks into a bar, settles on a stool and says to the bartender: "You know, what I would like at this moment more than anything on earth, what would set matters right in this weary, godforsaken world, what would make me happier than fame and wealth and glory is an ice-cold Tanqueray martini, up, with one olive."

Bartender: "Comin' atcha, sir!"

This, th…